Auditions

Hello internet friends. I'm sorry for neglecting you these past few weeks.

Right now I'm in the jaws of audition season. My first audition is tomorrow, in fact, and then I have two more shortly after. Ew.

I used to think that I was pretty knowledgeable about auditions. However, I've found that university auditions are a whole other emotional beast entirely.

First of all I went though a blind panic phase. This included questions such as, "WILL I HAVE MY PIECES READY ON TIME?!", and generalized superlative statements such as, "I AM THE WORST AT EAR TRAINING!". Secondly I went though a major doubting my abilities phase with fun thoughts such as, "I WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED INTO ANY UNIVERSITIES!". Thirdly I went though an existential crisis phase where I said things such as: "WHAT IS MY PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH?! DO I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE MUSIC THAT MUCH? I SHOULD MOVE TO CHINA."

Right now I feel like I've reached stage four, an odd mix of calm acceptance and perfectionism. After much thought, I've decided that yes I actually do like music that much, that I want to spend my life helping people through the medium of education, and that the stress I'm going through right now is probably worth it if I can improve the lives of others in the future. And that in a couple weeks, life is going to get a lot calmer, and I will be happier.




Sometimes life is hard. But it's sort of like a pendulum on a clock - there will be dips, but it always swings back up again.

I just have to remember to breathe now! And if it goes terribly, I could always open a bakery. Cookies are another way to improve people's lives, I think.

But wish me luck, internet. And best wishes to all the young musicians out there going through the same thing right now.

E